Yes, it's 5 a.m. Lots of things on my mind and heart. Heavy things but things worth having. I wonder what He's up to. I stayed up doing something artsy- arranging and rearranging this Xanga so I'd find more reason to want to write in it more. It's late. I love being awake while the world is sleeping. I feel like I can think better, feel better, sense and touch better. No demands from anywhere. Just me, here, thinking and listening to my clock tick. The consequences of staying up make me a little nervous, but tomorrow is Friday. TG.
"I wonder where you are and when you are coming back."
I cried in someone's lap today. Then later, someone else cried in my arms.
It was a very, very eventful day. A heavy day, but a meaningful one.
And because we are crying out to God in our own different ways, the tears and the genuineness, the need and the brokenness, it is so beautiful. I picture all of humanity, crying out to the One who made the universe and the One who can actually satisfy and answer. It's beautiful because there's hope and He is relentless in His pursuit of us. In all our own individual cries.
A few things I'm learning:
- Love is relentless, completely and utterly selfless, and tears are a result. The depth of love I am feeling and experiencing is only made possible by Him and with Him. Jesus wept.
- To love deeply, intimately and intensely. Without reservation and at the risk of no return. The way He loves us. We love because He first loved us. Without reservation. Deeply. Intensely. At the risk of us choosing to walk away.
- When I have no answer, the Cross is the only answer I am left with and can be left with. "It is finished" meant completion. Resolution. I want to feel that resolution as my hope and hope for others.
It's not easy, learning all of this. Feeling all of this. But God's up to something, doing something and all of this just shows me that He is moving.
Comments (2)
this is so encouraging...
even though i never experienced all that you did in your life
i feel as if i know what you are talking
i feel the same way at times...about the morning
i know what all of this you're saying
and i love it.
it's so encouraging
thank you, amy :)
the subway picture, beautiful.
Thanks for the reminder that God loves us deeply, intimately and intensely, without reservation and at the risk of no return...and that we ought to do the same.