I started off my day to an email that uplifted my spirits--
"and amy no whatever what happens i'll understand.
whether you're running around trying to juggle a million different responsibilities at once
whether you're running on little to no sleep
whether you're spending all your time on your girls because you know God has placed you in their lives to serve them
whether you're studying like crazy cause you're falling behind as a result of any and all of the former
whether you're trying to crunch out that last minute essay
whether you fall sick and get a fever because of doing any combination of the former (<---please don't do this)
I'll understand.
and i'm not saying that i expect you to have no time for me I'm just saying don't worry about it when it does happen. God has called you to do great things and to honor him by excelling as a student. Both are ridiculously hard to accomplish as they are. And so, I shall do my best to respect that God's work (and your physical welfare) come first and I hope you'll do the same for me. =]"
I'll understand.I feel like these are the words that I have needed to hear so much lately, and this email touched me at a place in my heart only God knows of. I feel so understood. And not only by my friend, but--to think!--by the God of the universe who promises me that and tells me over and over again in His Word that He knows me, loves me, understands me. God has been showing me this about Him so much in the past few days at a time that I need to hear it the most. Can you even fathom it?
I was sitting, feeling so alone a couple of nights ago and thought to myself how funny it was that people really want others to know they are sad without having to tell them. How much we want others to discover our sadness themselves, point it out and be there for us without us asking. As I was sitting on the floor thinking that to myself I thought about how I might call a friend up and make sure I still sounded like I was crying so she'd know just how sad I was feeling since she couldn't see me face-to-face. Then I thought about those dramatic scenes in movies when a character is crying by himself/herself and how because we are the audience we are able to see into the private cries of the character and we can feel for the character, without the character ever having to tell us that he/she is sad. I started to get a little jealous. So I thought about how I wish there was a camera that was, at aerial view, somehow letting someone know how I was feeling. Then I realized how silly that was because it dawned on me that I never have to yearn to feel understood because there is Someone that, at all times, in all situations, who always sees me. Someone who feels me, who knows me, who fully understands me at all times. Someone who I can never hide from.
It's wonderful to feel understood. The thought made me sing. So I sang, and as I did, the tears went away.
Before they call I will answer, while they are still speaking I will hear. - Isaiah 65
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways.
- Psalm 139